maternity clothing fail

What is it exactly about the phrase maternity clothes that just makes me cringe?  Likely the numerous failed shopping attempts, both in person and online.

I have decided the real money would be in the maternity clothes field.  And I don't mean the maternity clothes that are already out there, because lets face it; there are only viable options if you a) enjoy spending a dreadful amount of money for something that will be temporary and b) like wearing clothing that doesn't properly fit, and c) prefer hideous patterns over more simplistic things.

I am not weirdly-shaped in my bottom half, and maternity pants are dreadful.  The massive elastic band that stretches to your chin and falls down with any normal movement, the way there is a six-inch gap in the crotch region and strange baggy areas on the sides of the thighs, the fact that they are all two inches too short.  I have tried every size, shape, and color of maternity pants.  Forget finding any you love; I try to find some that are bearable for something under fifty dollars.

And how 'bout them maternity shirts?  I'm not one to wear animal print or floral fabric tents; I also don't enjoy wearing things that appear to be twelve sizes too big.  And I love the maternity clothing that fits until you reach the third trimester-that's especially thrilling when you have already paid the marked up price for clothing that you can wear for a few months.

What is it about pregnant women that makes these clothing manufacturers believe they would like to look like clowns in the circus?

I have come to decide I need to become a fashion designer of maternity clothing.  Cute, affordable, fitting  maternity clothing is unheard of.