because this deserves its own post

That totally just happened.

I planned on her first piggies being sometime during her year of kindergarten, so today turned out to be fairly exciting.  Right before she hit twenty-two months.

Just for fun, Ruby's first piggies (at 14 months):

and just because it's fitting, my favorite Eisley phrase of the moment is "Good GEESE!"  (good grief)

Christmas 2012

2012 held one of my most favorite Christmases of all time.  Despite spending it without extended family, we made our own traditions without worrying about weather and travel and other schedules.  And this was the most magical year for Ruby - something that has enhanced the holidays into a magnified piece of joy for us.  It was little, and laid back, and perfect.

We spent last Saturday night at a Christmas party with an actual babysitter and adult conversation; rejuvenation!  Amazing food and drinks are always a bonus.  

On Sunday, our tiny little elf --Cincy-- threw a paper airplane littered with instructions that led us on a minor, but necessary, detour to Starbucks for a miniature hot chocolate for Ruby and lattes for us.  Then, it was on to our twinkling scavenger hunt; to look for the best of the holiday decorations.

We went to Christmas Eve service at the church I went to in college, with my most favorite pastor ever.  I had a hard time keeping it together during the service with overwhelming thoughts about how my life had come full circle.  Never, in my wildest dreams, had I ever envisioned my children in that very church, and the quick candlelight ceremony describing the Lord as our light hit so close to home; it rocked me to my core to have everything come together in the tangible form of a candle; to be reminded of what has pulled me through the rough times.

Really with the tiny toddler scrawl?  I could have died when she wrote this in all of her squealing excitement. 

 I can't express the magic that lied within every single act - the way she got really close to Cincy while taking care not to actually touch him and most definitely invading any and all personal space issues (should elves actually have them)....just to tell him how special he was.  The way she got so excited to see the Christmas lights with her tiny hot chocolate warming her hands.  The way she asked to watch her video from Santa over and over again.  Her daily countdown.  The way she gave others shoppers random "Merry Christmas!" greetings - the way she said that same thing with so much glee on Christmas morning.

Oh, Eisley.  Running after Ruby to assess Santa's handiwork; I'll never forget the way she stopped and looked up at Ruby to carefully note her reaction, then turning to look at us, as if to ask, "Is this real?"

 Ruby asked Santa for something I could have never predicted; a stegosaurus - and as predicted, it was nearly impossible to find, but the mission was met with sweet reward when she yelled to anyone that would listen that she GOT A STEGOSAURUS!

 Sister got some "lolos" so the can be just like Ruby.

We feasted like royalty; lobster bisque with assorted cheeses and breads for lunch; seafood linguine for dinner.  An entire day later, and I still feel impossibly full.

These babies are my entire world; Christmas this year was my favorite ever, despite the chaos.  New traditions, so much love and joy - absolutely indescribable.  In my wildest dreams of the future, I never could have imagined.

2012 is going out with a bang - what a roller coaster of a year with a positively high ending.  

recovery

I have found myself with a guilty complex since I first heard of the Sandy Hook tragedy.  What business do I have enjoying a movie with my family while parents grieve of their tiny joy taken from them so soon?

But the problem with this is, that means fear is squandering my joy; swallowing my gratefulness, and causing me anxiety--not the way anyone should live.  Alternatively, I have taken this time to put myself out there, make myself slightly uncomfortable and vulnerable in the name of embracing the joy in my life.  I have taken the time to grieve for these families; now it's time to honor their children by worshiping my own.


Long ago, before our adventures in moving began, my goal was to celebrate Christmas in a new home. I had no inclination that I would be cutting it so close, but I am thankful nonetheless.  And celebrate Christmas we will!

I have a million things to finish before then, including my cards, last minute gifts, and a Santa run (which means: his elves slacked off and I'm doing the hard work of finding a flipping stegosaurus...not that I'm participating in some sort of holiday themed running event though I probably should be).  To be decided: cookies to add to my mint chunk cookies.  I basically had to make those in order to break in my new oven.

Joy.  I have so much joy.  The tiny hands that tug at my pants as she begs for a nap (this really happens), the washer and dryer that sing miniature tunes when it's time to give them attention.  My sweet big girl infatuated with Christmas and Santa - the way her whole face lit up when she got her own message from Santa.

Our move here has been so natural in seamless in some ways, it seems like we just naturally found our place in the puzzle.  And then there's an extra needy Eisley and Ruby with a few added defenses in her arsenal of pushing buttons.  I know this has affected them in some ways; but it's also very comforting to see them adapt to their toys in a new location so easily.

I started off a new chapter with a new look, and chopped many, many inches off of my hair.  After an unfortunate hair experience this fall, it was time to cut the ugly and now I'm having cutter's remorse and half-wondering if I just turned in my young and fabulous card for an official mom (with a bob) card.

haircuts and celebratory drinks on the night we closed (and also a sleeping Eisley)

I'm fairly in love with these two.  And by fairly, I mean a whole stinkin' lot.  Obsessed, really.

{today while we ate the most delicious gelato; Ruby told me she would have liked hers in a pine cone.  I told her, "Next time."}

heartbroken

We have relocated to a house full of boxes, laughter, and little feet running.

It is not lost on me that my children are alive and well; oblivious to today's tragedy.  My heart goes out to the parents, faculty, emergency responders, and witnesses involved in the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary - may peace and love surround you as you work through such a horrific time.

I cannot begin to imagine the grief with such a thing, and I never want to.  I know my children will not live in naivety, but I want to prolong it for as long as possible.

The Christmas gifts that will remain unopened; the laughter and child play that ceases; my heart is broken for the families involved.

 Love your little ones (and big ones); we are not promised a tomorrow.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. -Matthew 5:4

single digits and Christmas

We are in the single digits until new house becomes crazy house and we are living amidst more chaos of the unpacking variety.  Seeing our house nearly complete made it seem slightly more real - how it isn't real  yet with the life we are living and the countdown that has been carried on for months, I have no actual idea.  We chose a lot of our things from teeny, tiny samples, so to see it all be married together in the life size version?  Unreal.

As we drove away from our new town, back to the land of our boxed life, I was so sure of our decision to move.  A house where the girls have already christened the floors with the pitter patter of tiny, precious feet - that can run from one end to the other and never have to turn!  New City is a place that is dazzled in twinkly-toned Christmas cheer.  Nine days, nine days, nine days.

I have Christmas presents that are in the best hiding places ever - I likely won't find some until mid-February this year, which means more celebrating will just have to happen.  Ordinarily I would have been done with Christmas shopping long before now; this has to be a record for me.  

Speaking of...

That pretty much went exactly the same as last year's brief encounter with the jolly man.    I'm suspecting this will look fairly similar for a few more years - I told the poor photographer (which seems to take on more than one meaning) to hurry up and snap one quick because I didn't want her to be traumatized.

Ruby chose the year that she made a lot of connections with Santa to ask him for a dinosaur of all things, which means I'll probably be in line with the other unprepared people searching high and low for the specific gift that should have been purchased long before Christmas Eve.

There's something so magical about being Santa.

Unless you are Eisley.